So. Um.
Today was Everest’s pre-surgery checkup. I brought him to a different vet than the one I originally went to because I wasn’t comfortable dealing with a vet that had that much against the chain I work at (note that this is also the vet that we send all our customers to!). The vet I went to is also the one where RH’s girlfriend works.
So I bring Everest in, and K (I forget her last name) checks the sweetie out and weighs him and stuff (and found that he’s awful chubby — I’m switching both cats to the lower protein food NOW). The vet comes in, and we start talking about the procedure.
Me: *blahblahblah male cat* *pause* “I hope his testes have descended…”
Vet: “Well, I think [K] would’ve checked, but…” *feels around* “…”
Me: “… er…”
Vet: *feels around some more — Everest is complaining loudly* “I don’t… um, I’m going to get a second opinion, but I don’t think that he’s a he…”
Me: “Oh God.”
So I sit down, because at this point, stuff is RACING through my mind. The vet comes back (with Everest looking really insulted).
Vet: “Well, it’s confirmed, Everest is actually a girl.”
Me: *snap*
Note that two guys, a vet and the breeder all said he was male!
So then the vet starts feeling around some more, and she starts asking me if Everest is an indoor cat. “Well, yes. He… er, she’s never been outside.”
Vet: “Are you sure? Because her tummy’s really swollen.”
Me: “…”
Vet: “Do you have other cats?”
Me: “Well, a male cat… but he’s fixed… … … the vet SAYS he’s fixed.”
The vet whisked him… … HER out again to get another second opinion. The two come back, and Everest looks like he’s sick of the whole mess.
Vet: “Well, the other vet checked as well, and we think this lump is just a low kidney… but you might want to keep an eye on your other cat. If there ARE kittens in there, you have a choice to keep them, or…”
Me: “Just abort the procedure if that happens…” (I’m not pro-life, but I can’t make this kind of decision for someone else.) “… … oh God.”
So it’s probable that Everest isn’t preggers, but, well, yeah.
When we came out of the exam room, K was waiting for us, and we basically exchanged “Oh my GOD”s for about 10 minutes and concluded that because she was dating the chief grape in the grapevine, the entire chain would know in, oh, five minutes. I got a new estimate for Everest’s, um, spay, and we left.
…
I’m still in shock. This really happened about six hours ago. I need to talk to the kitten buyer on Monday… everyone’s saying “Thank God it was only you and not a customer”, but hey, I went out of my way to look for a male cat, and I end up with a female one.
… On the other hand, I now have a rare female orange cat.
…
Oh, Everest. I still love you so much. Just that you gave me the shock of my life this morning…
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